A Hobbits Tail....
So here I lie trying to make something of myself. I keep trying to convince my body I’ve recovered only to find my shanty health relapsing.
I should have told every one I’ve been sick so you could all pray for me. My home is starting to think I’m an invalid.
I tried to prepare a massive Brazilian style lunch to day and it’s left me yet again alone and with fever in my bed.
I find the best thing to do when you have a fever is to watch TV; its perpetual movement will assure you that everything outside the box isn’t moving.
However I hate being a couch potato, even though I am forced to remain motionless something about deteriorating in front of a TV is so degrading.
I hope this explains my extreme posting. I simply am trying to keep sane, besides, today I have a great story. I have already asked my dear friend if I could post about this (as it’s very private) and she being the sport she is… agreed.
I’ve taken up sexually educating a small group of girls (all of which are 18 and over). I guess the girl’s saw my sickness as a perfect chance to get me to talk. Don’t worry JD this post has little to do with me.
Anyway, I agreed to give a class on oral sex, mainly giving oral. We went through all kinds of commonly used references and I tried to do my best to give visual examples, but there is just nothing like “hands on” experience and being that recently the home’s boy toy has relocated we felt little other choice then to down load some wholesome porn. Yes you really have to pray when going through these sights and I’m not recommending it to anyone. We did it with prayer and stateliness.
Anyhow, as you can imagine we spoke long and hard on the subject and talked of various sexually related things and experiences.
So then every one went to bed and what transpired next was concoct in the sweet sleep of she who sleeps just overhead.
When you read it I’m sure the majority of you will recall a similar dream. What makes this such a classic story is that it’s one we can all fondly relate to.
: Written in the words of the obvious anonymous after a short hand yet explosive affirmation.
There was something going on in the house, a social gathering or celebration. Every one was enjoying themselves and it was about that time when most people who are young and hormonally charged begin the safari that leads to nature’s most phenomenal indulgence, human contact!
But where were the throngs she would normally seek to maul? And why did it feel the urge powerful enough to be divided among 10 men to copulate had fallen on her tinny shoulders?
Searching hard for the usual victim she found him collapsed on the sofa watching soccer. All the while a skinny brown juvenile boy (the nerd in the comedy we watched beforehand) kept pestering her for a date. She tried to rouse the soccer sedated aficionado but it was impossible. Brazilian soccer has always been the kryptonite of bathroom quickies! Turning to the scrawny juvenile she thought of the law of love and how every one should be admitted into the “red light special”. Annoyed but desperate for human contact she agreed and went shamefacedly with him to the bathroom where he unleashed “menino” and hastily put on the condom. Yes she was starved, she was deprived, but something stopped her from going on. Perhaps he was more of a meager size then she was accustomed.
Discouraged, he insist that she keep the condom for a better man. She didn’t accept. Every one knows you can’t use a condom TWICE!
The urge had not at all subsided, it seemed to swell as the moments went by. Then she remembered there was a tension releasing device in one of the girl dorms.
She snatched it up from its sleeping place and made her way back to the bathroom.
The window was four times its original size. This you can blame on the dream giver. She struggled with the thought of some one catching her in the act.
She tried to adjust the curtains but they were practically transparent. There was no stopping her, soon her friend would notice the beloved contraption was missing, she needed to make good use of her sparse time.
But just before she could begin there came a mother with a tribe of children. “great”. All the kids flocked to the window followed by their attendant. She was one of those sweet family aunties who carry their voice when saying simple things like, “Helllloooo….what are you dooiinnggg inn therrrre?” How very predictable. She gathered her things and sheepishly retreated.
On the search for a quiet place went until she found it. An empty room with a king sized bed and silk billowy bedding that seemed to say, “we have been expecting you”. Finally, frustrated and bedraggled she fell upon the inviting arrangement. Things had only begun to look up when by some cruel means of human deprivation in entered a horde of men. Now this would sound promising only the one who plopped down next to her was none other then her beloved brother who seemed to need some talk time. She crossed her legs and tried to hide the love device beneath her pillow.
No she never found relief that night, she awoke irritated and later confessed the story to me. I laughed and took notes. Indeed this sounds all too familiar!