choking down the hurt with spoon fulls of antidepressants.

After our lunch conference with mom my head was swimming with idea for the opening of the Juvenile Delinquent Center here in Austin. It was quite a hurdle for my mom to jump, but jump it she did and the Travis County Juvenile Delinquency Center is ours for the taking. Working with these boys is some of the most fulfilling work I've done in the Family Missionary movement. Now the only thought I'm plagued with is fitting in time to make classes, put together music and regularly visit the Center while still keeping my life, work and study in focus.I guess its the challenge we'll all be having to face one way or another. 
When your not living in a big, communal home you find yourself responsible for everything, the balls in your court and there is no one else to pin delays on. In order for me to cover all sides its a constant mental struggle to put off that extra hour of sleep. Sleep is the only thing that appeals to me these days, sleep is the one thing that threatens my "Zero Tolerance to Procrastination Campaign", sleep and my dirty bathroom that I should be cleaning right now, right now because its my free day. Free days are for blogging and an extra hour at the gym.

Mercy Henderson is sorting through baby clothes for her brother John and Kaori's baby. I'm glad I get to have a say in the way I look, that poor baby doesn't stand a chance. There really are so many things to be thankful for, just yesterday Mercy and I went to the Children's Mental Ward to make balloon art for the kids and cheer them up a bit. They call these kids crazy. After hearing some of their stories it kind of made me sad, the world has very different views on what they call crazy. The way I saw those kids and their diagnosis was anything but crazy. They're just young people who've been forced into some very adult situations having not been given the tools to deal with them. They will do the best they can with the cards they've been dealt, and then after the agony of having to make decisions they were not prepared to make in the first place the world responds with prescription pills and mental therapy in a white wall facility that crushes the little bit of child left inside them.

A ten year old boy hung himself the other day, it was on the news. He should have been getting mental help" every one said, all I could think of was what kind of world did this poor child live in to require he need mental help at all? And why did no one respond until it was too late? The children in this Clinic were more emo then insane. To me, insanity is a world that motivates us not to feel, to turn a blind eye or choke down the hurt with spoon fulls of antidepressants.

After Mercy and I went home I knew I would find a way to be a missionary, even with all there is to do listening and caring for these young people is my calling... and you know what they say about where there is a will...