I've learned something valuable this week.
I spoke with some one important about my hurts, the things that bothered me and made me feel like I can't go on.
My heart was actually full of anger and feelings that I was right and the world had turned it's back on me.
The response of my listener and the solution we came to was beautiful and I think post worthy.
If people don't know our heart and if all we ever do is bite down and swallow our feelings, refusing to let anyone see, we are creating a circle that has no end, where there is no exit, no hope of being free.
How can people help us and make our lives easier when they don't even know the lava curdling inside.
When I opened my heart to this some one, I felt that even though he couldn't fix the problems or change the past, at least finally some one knew. By sharing my heart maybe other situations could be salvaged and handled with more care. On top of that he was able to clear up a lot of smoke for me and helped me with my perspective.
I felt stupid for keeping it all in for so long. Maybe my pride held me back, wanting to believe I was strong and afraid of what may happen if this weakling was allowed to be made know to those who look up to me or those I look up to.
My fear of imperfection was exactly what was holding me back from being whole. None of us are capable of never making mistakes, of never feeling hurt. Opening up is healing. Silence is a slow death to all hope and love we have inside of us.
We can't be angry with the world for shutting us out when we haven't opened the door to let her in.
Clay
26/09/2009
15/09/2009
weekend with Older sister with a capital "Ohhh"
singing song to mom with ultra dorky look on my face while play wothless, fit for a trash heep guitar
Yes...I did gain 5 kls...but you never lose by gaining heh..ehem! but it was worth it, every greasy, sugar covered dumpling
"Pose like your happy!"
The End
03/09/2009
02/09/2009
Memoirs of a Mum
It has been two weeks, two weeks of poo poo diapers, bumps on the head, out bursts of unidentified emotion and cries that sound the closest thing to "Down? Down?"
If Its not smashing Its head against a mirror intentionally Its tumbling off the bed unintentionally, if Its not eating then Its pooping. Also with my limited research and expertise I have decided It speaks a blend of Japanese and Pig Latin but the exact dialect is inconclusive.
It ways more then a 5 month old Doberman Pincher yet It can hardly walk by Itself thus I must carry It around for a whopping third of my 14 hour day.
It has also mastered the art of sleeping while doing summer-salts around the bed, Iv tried to strap It down to one designated spot but then the screaming starts.
Despite being wickedly picky about It's food, poop some how seems to be optional on It's menu and if not watched carefully, routine diaper duty can turn into dung tasting "an you kiss yo mama with that mouth?". It also appears she is incapable of learning, repetition means little or nothing at all. If the specimen decides It wants something nothing but time will erase that something from It's memory banks, thankfully as an up side, God arranged these memory banks to last a full two minuets if handled properly (see Parenting For Dummies)
Ya, I'll be a horrid parent but the house is always clean and so are the kids, oh yes! there are two of them but thank heaven only one is a gooper aka baby.
Three days left playing mommy. Pray I get home in one piece
Clay
If Its not smashing Its head against a mirror intentionally Its tumbling off the bed unintentionally, if Its not eating then Its pooping. Also with my limited research and expertise I have decided It speaks a blend of Japanese and Pig Latin but the exact dialect is inconclusive.
It ways more then a 5 month old Doberman Pincher yet It can hardly walk by Itself thus I must carry It around for a whopping third of my 14 hour day.
It has also mastered the art of sleeping while doing summer-salts around the bed, Iv tried to strap It down to one designated spot but then the screaming starts.
Despite being wickedly picky about It's food, poop some how seems to be optional on It's menu and if not watched carefully, routine diaper duty can turn into dung tasting "an you kiss yo mama with that mouth?". It also appears she is incapable of learning, repetition means little or nothing at all. If the specimen decides It wants something nothing but time will erase that something from It's memory banks, thankfully as an up side, God arranged these memory banks to last a full two minuets if handled properly (see Parenting For Dummies)
Ya, I'll be a horrid parent but the house is always clean and so are the kids, oh yes! there are two of them but thank heaven only one is a gooper aka baby.
Three days left playing mommy. Pray I get home in one piece
Clay
08/08/2009
04/08/2009
Following the eating habit of a worm.
I'm sure Worms, like the Illuminati, know things they keep hidden from the masses in order to maintain absolute health while the rest of the world withers and dies of cancer and STDs .
Motive? Worms EAT us, worms eat people!
Worms found in your pantry that leave webs, skin remnants or eggs, are know as “inch worms” or "The Indianmeal moth worms”. Yes I said moth. Actually a lot of the "worms" you find in your pantry are really just moth larva, so no, its not cute when moths fly out of your pantry.
So being that we are just under the food chain I decided it was wise to do some research.
We already know proper eating habits are essential to long life, health/strength and even beauty. These things put you ahead of the game. How do we know where to start in achieving omnipotence? How do we become one step ahead of our enemy, the worm, in this case the Indian meal moth/worm? You can start by asking yourself a few simple questions.
Have you ever seen a worm dive into a barrel of sugar? Even if it's raw, natural sugar??
DO worms go for the white flour or the whole? Maybe both but which is given preference?
Does the ice berg lettuce often have worms hiding in it's layers, or is that your real green vegetables like broccoli and spinach?
have you EVER in your life found worms in the white rice?
how about the whole rice?
Oat meal, does it have worms?
I have also noticed that worms will go straight for the nuts (almonds, pecans) far before the sugar covered raisins that have been sitting open in the pantry for two weeks.
In fact worms pretty much avoid sugar with the acceptance of chocolate in many cases. Can you blame them?
Now if you've been starving your worms and keeping your natural, unprocessed foods under lock and key, they may just get desperate and go for the beans.
"Beans? you ask. Yes! I've often founds worms drilling holes through our homes bean stash but that's usually when everything else has become impossible for them to reach. But we already know beans are part of healthy eating habits. Though beans are highly infamous, their nutritional value is kept secret or down played in most western countries by the Illuminati
My point being....
Think like a worm!
Motive? Worms EAT us, worms eat people!
Worms found in your pantry that leave webs, skin remnants or eggs, are know as “inch worms” or "The Indianmeal moth worms”. Yes I said moth. Actually a lot of the "worms" you find in your pantry are really just moth larva, so no, its not cute when moths fly out of your pantry.
So being that we are just under the food chain I decided it was wise to do some research.
We already know proper eating habits are essential to long life, health/strength and even beauty. These things put you ahead of the game. How do we know where to start in achieving omnipotence? How do we become one step ahead of our enemy, the worm, in this case the Indian meal moth/worm? You can start by asking yourself a few simple questions.
Have you ever seen a worm dive into a barrel of sugar? Even if it's raw, natural sugar??
DO worms go for the white flour or the whole? Maybe both but which is given preference?
Does the ice berg lettuce often have worms hiding in it's layers, or is that your real green vegetables like broccoli and spinach?
have you EVER in your life found worms in the white rice?
how about the whole rice?
Oat meal, does it have worms?
I have also noticed that worms will go straight for the nuts (almonds, pecans) far before the sugar covered raisins that have been sitting open in the pantry for two weeks.
In fact worms pretty much avoid sugar with the acceptance of chocolate in many cases. Can you blame them?
Now if you've been starving your worms and keeping your natural, unprocessed foods under lock and key, they may just get desperate and go for the beans.
"Beans? you ask. Yes! I've often founds worms drilling holes through our homes bean stash but that's usually when everything else has become impossible for them to reach. But we already know beans are part of healthy eating habits. Though beans are highly infamous, their nutritional value is kept secret or down played in most western countries by the Illuminati
My point being....
Think like a worm!
26/07/2009
Post #2
I remembered that we are all bi-polar, because of the carnal mind vs the Spirit Mind in us!
So, it's like
ok
JESUS took care of all the cursed disclaiming, right?
Yes &
now we have to follow suit
finding how to keep the Vic
even when all around is un-niceness
even in our own egocentric (ha)
lives, that
well
we are fighters to
Rise above it with Love & prayer & all the virtues
which
disclaim the Vic
in conclusion
The Victory is ours
in our 1st Love and Husband
Whoooopeeee .............................................Ivn Ho
Tks da Ho, always ready to relate..some how hahah
To: YOU
Date: TODAY
From: GOD
Subject: YOURSELF
Reference: LIFE
This is God. Today I will be handling All of your problems for you.. I do Not need your help. So, have a nice day.
I love you.
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