Memoirs of a Mum

It has been two weeks, two weeks of poo poo diapers, bumps on the head, out bursts of unidentified emotion and cries that sound the closest thing to "Down? Down?"
If Its not smashing Its head against a mirror intentionally Its tumbling off the bed unintentionally, if Its not eating then Its pooping. Also with my limited research and expertise I have decided It speaks a blend of Japanese and Pig Latin but the exact dialect is inconclusive.
It ways more then a 5 month old Doberman Pincher yet It can hardly walk by Itself thus I must carry It around for a whopping third of my 14 hour day.
It has also mastered the art of sleeping while doing summer-salts around the bed, Iv tried to strap It down to one designated spot but then the screaming starts.
Despite being wickedly picky about It's food, poop some how seems to be optional on It's menu and if not watched carefully, routine diaper duty can turn into dung tasting "an you kiss yo mama with that mouth?". It also appears she is incapable of learning, repetition means little or nothing at all. If the specimen decides It wants something nothing but time will erase that something from It's memory banks, thankfully as an up side, God arranged these memory banks to last a full two minuets if handled properly (see Parenting For Dummies)

Ya, I'll be a horrid parent but the house is always clean and so are the kids, oh yes! there are two of them but thank heaven only one is a gooper aka baby.
Three days left playing mommy. Pray I get home in one piece

Clay