its rainy season on the splat life

I've learned something valuable this week.
I spoke with some one important about my hurts, the things that bothered me and made me feel like I can't go on.
My heart was actually full of anger and feelings that I was right and the world had turned it's back on me.
The response of my listener and the solution we came to was beautiful and I think post worthy.

If people don't know our heart and if all we ever do is bite down and swallow our feelings, refusing to let anyone see, we are creating a circle that has no end, where there is no exit, no hope of being free.
How can people help us and make our lives easier when they don't even know the lava curdling inside.
When I opened my heart to this some one, I felt that even though he couldn't fix the problems or change the past, at least finally some one knew. By sharing my heart maybe other situations could be salvaged and handled with more care. On top of that he was able to clear up a lot of smoke for me and helped me with my perspective.
I felt stupid for keeping it all in for so long. Maybe my pride held me back, wanting to believe I was strong and afraid of what may happen if this weakling was allowed to be made know to those who look up to me or those I look up to.
My fear of imperfection was exactly what was holding me back from being whole. None of us are capable of never making mistakes, of never feeling hurt. Opening up is healing. Silence is a slow death to all hope and love we have inside of us.
We can't be angry with the world for shutting us out when we haven't opened the door to let her in.

Clay