its rainy season on the splat life

I've learned something valuable this week.
I spoke with some one important about my hurts, the things that bothered me and made me feel like I can't go on.
My heart was actually full of anger and feelings that I was right and the world had turned it's back on me.
The response of my listener and the solution we came to was beautiful and I think post worthy.

If people don't know our heart and if all we ever do is bite down and swallow our feelings, refusing to let anyone see, we are creating a circle that has no end, where there is no exit, no hope of being free.
How can people help us and make our lives easier when they don't even know the lava curdling inside.
When I opened my heart to this some one, I felt that even though he couldn't fix the problems or change the past, at least finally some one knew. By sharing my heart maybe other situations could be salvaged and handled with more care. On top of that he was able to clear up a lot of smoke for me and helped me with my perspective.
I felt stupid for keeping it all in for so long. Maybe my pride held me back, wanting to believe I was strong and afraid of what may happen if this weakling was allowed to be made know to those who look up to me or those I look up to.
My fear of imperfection was exactly what was holding me back from being whole. None of us are capable of never making mistakes, of never feeling hurt. Opening up is healing. Silence is a slow death to all hope and love we have inside of us.
We can't be angry with the world for shutting us out when we haven't opened the door to let her in.

Clay

weekend with Older sister with a capital "Ohhh"

singing song to mom with ultra dorky look on my face while play wothless, fit for a trash heep guitar Yes...I did gain 5 kls...but you never lose by gaining heh..ehem! but it was worth it, every greasy, sugar covered dumpling "Pose like your happy!"

The End

I love the Bible

And you thought the book wasn't cool

Memoirs of a Mum

It has been two weeks, two weeks of poo poo diapers, bumps on the head, out bursts of unidentified emotion and cries that sound the closest thing to "Down? Down?"
If Its not smashing Its head against a mirror intentionally Its tumbling off the bed unintentionally, if Its not eating then Its pooping. Also with my limited research and expertise I have decided It speaks a blend of Japanese and Pig Latin but the exact dialect is inconclusive.
It ways more then a 5 month old Doberman Pincher yet It can hardly walk by Itself thus I must carry It around for a whopping third of my 14 hour day.
It has also mastered the art of sleeping while doing summer-salts around the bed, Iv tried to strap It down to one designated spot but then the screaming starts.
Despite being wickedly picky about It's food, poop some how seems to be optional on It's menu and if not watched carefully, routine diaper duty can turn into dung tasting "an you kiss yo mama with that mouth?". It also appears she is incapable of learning, repetition means little or nothing at all. If the specimen decides It wants something nothing but time will erase that something from It's memory banks, thankfully as an up side, God arranged these memory banks to last a full two minuets if handled properly (see Parenting For Dummies)

Ya, I'll be a horrid parent but the house is always clean and so are the kids, oh yes! there are two of them but thank heaven only one is a gooper aka baby.
Three days left playing mommy. Pray I get home in one piece

Clay