This has been my month of catching up, my time away from the thing I hate being away from. My affair; my mutual romance with life outside the box, my adventure, which is at the moment "to be continued".
I am making goode use of my time away from the field. Is it ok that I spell good with a silent e??
I think you should know, right now I'm having a moment, although its hard to say what kind. I'm at peace but afraid. There are butterflies in my stomach yet I feel empty. I'm happy, but also there is a sneaky sort of sadness, kind of like a grey cloud swelling with rain just above the prancing little butterflies, a cold under current in tropical water. It's like... depression.
I think the sadness I feel isn't mine, thats why I don't really feel it.
I have way too much to be thankful for to be sad anyway. This month I was given a bundle of memories, memories of you smiling, some of you crying and others were a mix of the two. These memories will last me long after your gone.
So here's what I'm willing to do, I'm going to take this rainbow of emotion and savor it, every shade of brilliant yellow, orange and red, along side the blues. What are rainbows without the blues anyway?
No use being sad when your supposed to be happy, God wants us to enjoy the happy days, without them life is one big shade of blue. So if you don't mind, I'm going to enjoy my shades of yellow and I wont deny you the right to the blues although I'm sorry, I can't join you singing them. It's my turn to be Jazzed.
But I'll never forget your smile and I'll pray always for it to return. You deserve to smile again... but please don't rub off on me. I want to be happy, and if you let me...maybe even happy enough for the two of us.
oh no, this is a rant.. wana see some fun pics??
As soon as I arrived in California I was starving, so the guys toook me for lunch on the beach!
But then Jesse had to take off to Puerto Rico
So the next day Steph got me up at 6 to go on a six mile hike...Up!
umm.. the end.. 4 now