14/07/2012

Rant

Blogging these days has become near impossible...so many pictures Id like to post but everything ends up on Facebook. I hope things get better for Splat soon.
Germany has been great so far but I fear the cold has not set in and nor has the realization of my new life.
Work starts Monday, a Hospital for fat kids. Yes thats right, being fat is now something we seek medical help for...thats ok by me, more work for the fitness industry. I am now waiting on a letter from Germany with information and how, where and when I can begin attending school for German culture and language, Ive already been taking classes on my own initiative.
In other news my personal life is taking an ugly turn, I dread the possibilities married life implies, children and all that normal stuff. I feel maybe my feelings have lost their roots and now Im just floating off into space, going through rituals and painting insincere smiles on my face. My career and goals are being set back by a need to pleas rather then achieve what I have been dreaming of and now, in this awkward abyss, progress is slowly no longer priority and naturally there is no standing still, from here its all downward and unless I find a way to make it work, Im afraid I will need to break.
Sadmir is taking off for three months so I will be left alone with work, school and a wide array of thoughts to chew upon. Will time apart make the heart fonder, or will I begin to savor every minute without him to the point I dread his return?    :(  triple sad face